Often when we think about wellbeing, we think about our individual wellbeing, in terms of how good we feel, how satisfied we are with our lives, and how well we are functioning in different areas. Did you know that social relationships and interactions contribute a great deal to our wellbeing and go a step further to include our relationships with our communities and social structures? Positive relationships (friends, family, loved ones) and connecting with larger systems (workplace, clubs, community) is the feature of this month’s positivity project.
I’ve been reading a book lately about the once famous Elaine’s restaurant in NYC. The owner, Elaine Kaufman, was a social and relationship icon from the 1960s to early 2000s. People came to Elaine’s to connect with friends and colleagues. Tables were numbered by the locals who sat there, often celebrities like Woody Allen, Michael Caine, and the like. Elaine protected her patrons from the paparazzi and tourists so that they felt safe and at ease in her restaurant. She helped many people grow their careers and was matchmaker to many as well. People mourned when she eventually closed the restaurant for good in 2010. Memoirs showed that people went to Elaine’s for more than a meal or a drink. They went there for connection, for friendship. Many felt the place was like family.
Another example a little closer to home is my local hairstylist. The owner wanted to make a difference locallyand joined the board of a community non-profit that is working with others to purchase Pods to shelter people experiencing homelessness. Customers of her spa that wish to support her efforts can make contributions through a websiteand the non-profit will match the donations. It’s another great example of connecting with others in the community to benefit the larger system. For my part, being a part of something bigger than myself feels really good.
Connection in the workplace also contributes to our wellbeing. Caring and compassion at work can yield individual benefits in terms of better physical and mental health and decreased stress. According to Carmeli, Brueller and Dutton (2009) high-quality relationships have three key functional features:
- High emotional carrying capacity for positive and negative emotions
- High flexibility in the face of adversity and change
- High connectivity and openness to new ideas and influences
Positive relationships contribute to growth and trust and help develop organizational attributes like emotional literacy, openness and connection. One of the practices the positivity project encourages is loving kindness meditation which builds up our employees in an emotional capacity and enables flexibility and openness to new ideas. This has shown to enhance and sustain job satisfaction
I’m sure you have examples of ways you connect with others in your work teams and your communities. We’d love to hear about them! Please contact the positivity project or leave a comment on this blog post. We can all learn and grow from each other.
I thought this was an especially insightful piece. Thank you for sharing. Very important in these times where some of our more familiar or natural community connections are distanced.
I’m really struggling with this one because for the first time in my life and particularly in my professional life I feel like my employer has created a divisive environment where community is no longer really possible or comfortable. I’ve never had anxiety issues and have always loved going to work – literally work has always been one of my safe places. People who know me, family, close friends, and even co-workers, know that my job is one of the most important places/tasks in my hierarchy of needs in life. I don’t work just for a paycheck, I work to make a difference; I work to add value to my life and to the lives of those around me. And yet now I am experiencing panic and anxiety over going into the office because I have been segregated and essentially marked as an “enemy” due to my deeply held beliefs. I am deeply struggling with feelings of angst at the knowledge and understanding that my workplace is no longer a “safe place” for me because I’m being judged and watched the moment I walk in until the moment I leave. This is absolutely contrary to the concept of creating community as discussed in your post and yet this is the result of policy developed by our employer, the State of Oregon. My heart mourns over this issue. Despite my efforts of turning my feelings and the situation over to my God in Heaven, my humanity still causes me to struggle with the daily reality of it all. I wish that our employer would take time to understand the impact of the policy decisions made around the use of N95 masks in office – specifically the use by only a specified group of people. If it truly is only about protecting the health and safety of employees then ALL employees in office should wear them – but that is clearly not the purpose nor the desire. Instead those of us who have exceptions are being made to feel isolated; segregated; judged; criticized; and definitely cast out of any sense of community within the workplace. Again, my heart mourns over this issue because I feel like I’ve lost my work community that I so deeply cared about all of these years – it’s like I’m mourning the loss of a loved one and it is painful; frustrating; and maddening because it is so very unnecessary.
Michelle, I was deeply moved when reading your comment this morning. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I know there is not. I relate to every word you wrote, every feeling you expressed. I write just to say that your comments shed light on what many of our coworkers likely feel and I hope those that read it are moved with empathy and action to support each other specifically focusing on encouraging with kindness and respect the many difficult choices we each must make. Thank you for sharing with such vulnerability. I will find ways to be more mindful and open in my support to my workmates, particularly those who may feel unsafe and judged. I pray you find the peace, joy and meaning you seek in your work.
I am sorry to hear of your situation; sadly, it is in all agencies in this ‘Covid’ world we (now) live in. I believe every level of our government is struggling with how to react to the unknown with this virus. Because of that, the initial thought/actions aren’t always thought out and cause ALOT of distention on an (already) stressed nation. Try to hold on…I believe it’s getting better everyday. What we do is important…how we do it is showing those around us the strength of our values and beliefs. Thank you for your honest and thought-provoking comment.
Very well said. Thank you Michelle for speaking up and making the right choice for yourself. I completely agree with you and feel panic and anxiety everyday at work, I am experiencing the same segregation I have to wear a PAPR (helmet) my whole shift and I work directly with patients. The PAPR has a long cord attached to a battery to run the air supply, which makes it hard for me to hear (I’m almost deaf in my left ear) My side and ground vision are obstructed and the plastic face shield will reflex my image when looking into rooms that are dark. I feel very isolated not being able to hear and with everyone around me wearing a mask I don’t even know if they are talking because their mouths are covered. I have for most of my life relied on mouth movement now that is gone. How long will this go on? When will we get back to our lives? Well its 2022 lets make it happen Vote to change Oregon back to FREEDOM. If you ever need to talk email me.
There is so much negativity today and differences. I appreciate that Chief Human Resources has come up with the Positivity Project with the different topics.
I think it will be beneficial to all of those that work for state government as well as the lives they touch – family, friends, clientele, customers, etc.
I feel focusing on the solution more than the problem helps me to get through tough situations better. Also, I tell God thank you even in the trials.