I’m going to let you in on something about me. I’m not always positive. Sometimes I get in a bad mood and let myself just stay there for awhile. My inner three-year old sits down, folds her arms with a huff, and sulks, pouts or glowers off in the distance. Have you been there? Let’s face it, we aren’t always happy and things aren’t always positive. The positivity project has provided many tools in the past two years to help us get past these feelings. I’m going to do that as well, but first let’s take a time out.
Emotions are data. Negative emotions are telling us that something isn’t right. Instead of covering them up or brooding over them, we need to stop and reflect. I notice I’m feeling uneasy. I notice I’m feeling frightened. I notice I’m feeling peeved. What are these feelings telling me about my current situation? What are they telling me about myself? What are the circumstances surrounding my feelings? Emotions do serve a purpose, and the better we get at acknowledging them and naming them, the better we get at understanding why they are there and what we need to do to move through them.
Sometimes bad moods don’t have a good reason. There are mornings when I simply wake up in a bad mood. When I want to shake off my bad mood and turn things around for the positive, here are three powerful tips that can help.
1. Focus on someone else
A bad mood usually forces us to become overly focused on ourselves. Shifting our attention to others gets us out of our own world. When we turn the spotlight onto someone else, we can practice empathy, kindness and listening. Altruism is the principle and moral practice of concern for the happiness of other human beings or other animals, resulting in a better quality of life, both material and spiritual. So, offer to help a neighbor. Pay for the coffee of the person in line behind you. Take time to really listen to a friend’s problem and help them see the way through. Building them up will lift your mood.
2. Get Yourself Moving
I notice both a physical and mental benefit when I get up and move or exercise. For example, about six months into the pandemic I noticed a work-life balance issue starting to happen. I finally decided to block out the lunch hour (12-1 p.m.) on my calendar so every day that I could, I would get outside and walk for the first half of my lunch. I called it 21 in 2021. I experienced a renewal of energy that helped me get through the rest of the day with mental clarity and focus. I also noticed my body felt better. I wouldn’t get back aches and leg cramps from sitting too long. Psychologist Robert Thayer and colleagues identified a number a strategies people use to self-regulate their moods. Physical activity and exercise proved to be the most effective. In fact, the effects of exercise can happen so quickly that you might decide to keep going once you’ve started. For an even better boost, get outside. Research by Richard Ryan and colleagues shows that being in nature significantly increases our sense of vitality.
3. Think More Like An Optimist Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania, is considered the father of positive psychology. He has studied the thinking styles of optimism and pessimism. When an adverse event happens, like receiving an unexpected bill in the mail, pessimists are likely to think of it as being permanent and pervasive. They might say to themselves, “I’m always going to be behind on bills and my life sucks.” Optimists, on the other hand, are more likely to describe the event as temporary and to compartmentalize it. An optimist might say, “I’ll have to cut back for the next month to pay this off, but it will be OK. At least I’m great at what I do for a living.” If your bad mood stems from a challenge or obstacle you’re dealing with, try to focus on the control you have to change it, and be realistic about how much of your life it affects. And don’t forget to smile. The simple act of smiling can improve your mood. For the greatest effect, give yourself a big authentic smile by finding something that genuinely makes you laugh. Not only will you feel better, you will start a ripple of positivity.
Two ways to get out of a bad mood: take a walk in nature and hug a pet. Both have been found medically to improve mood.
I agree all the ideas mentioned help. Some ways that boost my mood are hugs, listening to the birds, dancing, singing, listening to music, going to mass, spending time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, reading some of the comforting scriptures, praying, playing with my dog, doing an act of kindness for someone, looking at the stars and seeing co-workers smiling faces even if it is virtually.
Mary, This is very helpful. I to find comfort and peace in Jesus and reading the word of God. It is always comforting to know that there are co-workers out there that love the Lord. Thank you for your works.
I absolutely agree Mary! This is my go to, to get out of a bad mind set 🙏
For me I bring out my tool box and remember that I can start my day over at anytime. I close my eyes, take a deep breath exhale slowly to let all the aggravation go, say a short prayer and when I open my eyes my day starts over again and I have the option of it being good or bad, the day being a great day or a bad day, looking at thing with positivity or stay in my bad space. I thankfully choose the best of the two, smile and continue the day. Sometimes this can happen many times a day.
Excellent ideas – Searching Get Out of a Bad Mood also offers ways to help someone get out of a bad mood, getting out of a bad at work, getting out of mood yourself, music to get out of a bad mood
Gratitude, Recall all the things you are grateful for and are fortunate to have.
See the sun (or soft rain), breath fresh air, listen to your favorite upbeat music – whatever makes you happy! If I am in a grumpy mood, I try not to inflict my mood on others. I always say, “this too shall pass.” Then I turn my focus on other things that will not reinforce my bad mood.
Thank you to all who posted comments. If alone, and in a bad mood, I sometimes text a friend and schedule a date to get together or plan a day trip for myself to the coast or nature spot that I love – such as an overnight to visit grandchildren; or plan a yummy menu item to share on the next family night, and go shop for the ingredients. Routinely, while grieving the death of my husband, I have bouts of insomnia or depression. To lift my spirit, I use mindfulness meditation apps (i.e. Breathe and Meditative Story), and practice being in the present and breathing. They help shift my focus and mood to feeling more safe, energized or tuned in to my physical and emotional well-being and needs. I am able to let go and sleep if that is what my body needs at the time or walk my dog to the park and talk to people if that is what I need.
The hole covid thing has a lot of people very angry. I decided to do my best to make one person smile every day. Some days it’s harder than others some days I end up in a very good conversation with complete strangers. I say things like people are so angry it’s sad and I just want to share a smile with someone. I have seen a frown turn around and folks say things like your right! Then they would say I’m going to add that to my to- do lists from now on. I now feel better and am finding folks that are trying to do the same.
Similar to shifting your thinking – do a puzzle or other logic-based activity. Much like with feelings of anxiety, it is near impossible to hold on to an emotion when you engage your logical side. Your brain will soon be focused on the task/activity, giving you time to breathe and step back.
what gets me out of a bad mood is usually eating avocados or chocolate. It is not possible for me to be upset when my taste buds know sweet bliss